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EZINED.COM GETS HIGHER PRODUCTIVITY FROM EMPLOYEES BY CREATING NEW
OFFICE DESIGN
Lexington, KY - Management for one of the largest Internet magazine
producers, eZined.com, recently redesigned some of the offices to
help stimulate more productivity from some of the more "flighty"
writers.
The new office chairs are connected directly to the toilet system,
and offices will allow smoking to, "Create no excuses for wasting
time," claimed Mike McDonald, chief designer of the new office space.
"This is great," said Murray Hunter, Technology Coordinator for
eZined. "I'm sick of people wasting time. This way, if we see
someone away from their desk, we know that's exactly what they're
doing."
The editors are all enthused about their new desks and are waiting
until the entire office is set up this way. We'll keep you up to
date on the progress.
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CALIFORNIA FARMERS PROMOTE OPEN-MINDED BREEDING FOR FARM ANIMALS
Maryville, CA - Johnson Sires, owner of a small farm outside of
Maryville, California, has created a virtual cocktail lounge for his
animals.
"I want them to be comfortable to express themselves sexually," Sires
said with a smile. "If the dogs like the cats, or the bunnies like
the chickens, that's OK. There's no rules here. This is their farm,
not mine."
Apparently Sires' liberal attitude has paid off because the animals
have seemingly had a high level of productivity.
"I mean horses get sick of other horses," he continued. "Sometimes
I can see a horse just eye-balling my wife, Jean. You know, if that's
what the horse wants...and my wife is cool with it, then I'm all for
it. You'd be surprised how much happier the horse seems. Plus he
pulls much more weight and runs faster when he's not sexually
frustrated."
Other farmers have started following the trend. In fact, one Wyoming
farmer, Jeb Sisterns, said, "None of my sheep have been sexually
frustrated for years now. I'm way ahead of that guy."
We'll keep you posted if any developments happen in the story.
Tim@RadicalComedy.com
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SEXY PRIMATE BIG ATTRACTION AT LINCOLN PARK ZOO
CHICAGO, IL - Lincoln Park Zoo officials were very excited this week
when "Sasha the Sexy Chimp" made their zoo her new home.
"This is going to bring in a lot of people," commented Larry Bolsia,
Vice President of affairs at the zoo. "We've been needing a big
ape attraction. Since Otto, we've been hurting for some press.
Sasha should bring in that needed publicity."
Some of the North Chicago natives were weary of the sexy chimp.
Martha Otlowsky admitted, "I'm not sure I want my husband going to
the zoo. We've been living near Lincoln Park for three years now.
All of a sudden he's going, with all his buddies to get a few beers
and see the animals. It's really scaring me actually."
Jim Otlowsky, Martha's husband, was far less tentative. "Oh I just
love the zoo. Always have. Plus, you gotta see what Sasha can do
with a banana. You don't even have to stuff cash down her panties.
Me and the boys love it."
Sasha is only scheduled to stay at Lincoln Park for two months, so
if you're in the Chicago area you might want to make your plans
to go to the zoo soon. There is a separate part of the habitat that
is designated for Sasha. There is a charge at the door of $6, plus
a two drink minimum. Private-room viewings are $10 and lap dances
are $20.
To reserve your spot with Sasha, contact us at RadicalComedy.com
Tim@RadicalComedy.com
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BIBLE BOOK CATERS TO READERS WITH SHORT ATTENTION SPAN
Cooksville, TN - A few local writers in Cooksville recently published
a desktop quick reference guide to the Bible claiming that most
people "don't want to read through all the fluffy, wordy Bible stuff
and want to get to the meat."
The book contains several easy-to-read passages, including:
1) All Old Testament stories, paraphrased into one paragraph
summaries.
2) An at-a-glance look at cardinal sins, and quick ways to get
eternal damnation.
3) A list of sure-fire, money making Christian ideas. (With
detailed descriptions of T-shirt companies, bumper-sticker
makers, and WWJD bracelet manufacturers.)
The book is also supposed to contain translations of the bible into
slang language. "Getting rocked," is how "Stoned to death" is
described. "40 days and 40 nights," is generalized as "like, a
mad long time."
If you're interested in ordering a copy, let us know at
RadicalComedy
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